Kids need candy, this song is about drugs.

It's true, kids need candy, not Kandy the other half of Sugar Paper, but candy like sweets. On my bus journey home on Monday, a teenage boy sat opposite me, this boy is the kind that probably calls himself a gamer and, fancies only pixelated fictional characters and holds his money in his sweaty palms for too long. I know that the last statement is indeed correct because he used to visit my sweet shop every week and buy £5 worth of blue crystal (not meth, just good old fashioned sherbet). Now, on this bus journey he was rolling something very suspicious kids, grinding some shizzle up, I tell thee, I felt bad, this poor young boy has had to get his highs from another source since my shop shut, oh no.
On Tuesday night I became some sort of sadist and ventured into Fallowfield, during Freshers week (DIE DIE DIE) to watch Times New Viking, my review is this, Trof stop trying to take over and be venue kings, yeah you have a wardrobe door for the toilet door, but this venue is too long and the bar is inappropriately placed and those crazy bus seats you have acting as the walls stunk disgustingly fusty and I don't want that ingrained in my awesome £5 jersey biker jacket from H&M.
When did Manchester become so 'cool'? Are there two bands called Lovvers, because the Lovvers I saw a year and half ago looked and sounded not that much like Lovvers I saw that night. God aren't TNV good? yeah.