"Life is nothing if you're not obsessed"
"it's ok to love something a little too much, as long as it's real to you"
I was intending to write this blog about how I think I've finally come to terms with being an obsessive and how it can totally be a healthy thing. But it might end up as an appreciation post of one of my oldest friends. Let's see.
The title of the blog comes from said friend. For anyone who doesn't know THIS is Barrier Kid.
Barrier Kid, represent to us, and so many others I'm sure, that feeling of being a fan of something, loving something to your very bones.
Recently my friend and I had a super awesome trip that fuelled our obsessions and she said to me 'We are all barrier Kid'
The first quote in the blog comes from one of my favourite directors/writers/general people of all time. John waters. John is an unashamed obsessive, he's a collector, he has a fuck tonne magazine subscription, he makes lots of lists on index cards, he just has one of those brains. He gets it!
The second quote comes from Gerard Way. It's an excerpt from a larger quote about standing in a crowd of sweaty people at a gig. This is the guy that had a notebook entitled Star Wars notes. He gets it!
I've been obsessed with stuff from a young age, I think pretty much always. Like that time when I was a teenager I found an old school book from when I was young where I had dedicated a couple of back pages to Winona Ryder. I had a picture of her, a few stickers from Smash Hits and a quote from some other magazine about how The Catcher in The Rye was her favourite book.
I'm also a collector, I've collected pretty much everything, stickers, rubbers, pencils, snow globes, ornamental mushrooms, handbags. I like to collect.
When I like something I LOVE SOMETHING. I become all consumed by it, it's everything I need! I'm not faddy, some things I might not love as much as I once did, and yeah maybe the odd ting I go, jeez what was I thinking, but mostly I just like to love and obsess over stuff!.
In my adult life I have surround myself with friends who love things just that little too much. But I don't even know what that means, who set the standards? Who said casually loving something was the cool way to do stuff? If it's real to me then what does it matter?
I'm not obsessive I'm passionate!
OK I am obsessive and I'm (finally) cool with that.
Most things I do are inspired by my obsessions. Write, sew, make and do. Most of what comes out of me is related to popular culture. Stuff I'm obsessed with. I don't know what I'd do without it.
I would have to just come up with stuff out of my own head!!! How does that work?!?
What would I do if I wasn't obsessed, how would I spend every waking hour, John was right, life is nothing unless you're obsessed!
Quite often I do (despite my band of crazy obsessos!) feel like this FANATIC!! I think I bet nobody else gets this wrapped up over something, I bet other people aren't being rubber cat masks to look like a fictional character, I bet other people aren't getting their hair cut like their favourite band member, what;s wrong with me! But when I met my good friend Holly I found a fellow obsessive.
To cut a long story short we met when we were like 15 via Teletext. She loved Bis I loved Bis, she turned out to be a massive obsessive, the first one I had possibly met, defiantly the first one who obsessed over similar stuff to me.
Holly is great for a number of reasons A. she's an obsessive 2. She supports fellow obsessives D. she's a massive egger on (something which obsessives love and hate). She also makes some of the best mixtapes ever and the one that made me cool, even though I just pretend I was made this way, credit where credits due.
I have shared some amazing obsessive moments with Holly. But two that were really life changing. (I won't go on about them too much).
The first one was in 2001.
We both attended Ladyfest Glasgow. We were just 17 (Literally, Holly had her 17th birthday there). I don't know why we went but I'm pretty sure it's because we were obsessives who couldn't miss out on this, despite our lack of funds and youthful naivety. One of the best weekends of my life.
The second one was in 2012.
We both attended Morrisoncon in Las Vegas.
I made the decision that we should go the date the tickets went on sale. But I only made that decision knowing that I would have a fellow obsessive by my side. I'm glad we did, it was the best weekend I've had since 2001!
So I'm here, having life changing weekends, having fun obsessing with all my friends, and all that, but it's learning to direct this obsessiveness that made me decide to call it healthy.
As I said above, everything I make comes from being an obsessive. So that's what I learnt to do, I learnt not to completely put all my energies into obsessing, but get something back and that something just happens to be making awesome shit (well I think it's awesome!) inspired by it all!
I'm not sure if this reached any conclusion at all, if it has any point. maybe one day I will get Kandy and I to list all the things we have ever been obsessed with and post it here!
Let's have a Springer style after thought....
As I get older, I get totally emotional seeing other obsessives. I think you're me, I'm you, you get it, WE ARE ALL BARRIER KID!!
(picture from Holly thanks!!)